all in moderation;

last night, i went to my first highschool dance.
more than likely because hoa dragged me, and a certain someone said,
"it won't be fun without you, please come"
i decided why not.
everyone else made plans with everyone else or was already busy, so why not.
goddamit you know how busy everyone is without me.
it makes me feel bad.
anyway.
it was pretty boring.
until the last hour at least.

Soto was there, among 50 or so people, and we talked.
i told him i used to like him last year, and all he said was, "i know."
don't you hate that.
when guys get so damn over confident and are just like, "yeah i knew all along."
but i don't believe that. i think its more of a. he thought maybe i did, and when i said i did he was like "yeah, i'm totally right"
but then again, who doesn't like feeling good because they knew something all along, and had the right answer as well.
he said i acted different around him. which. i don't think is true at all.
maybe i'm oblivious to it, but i don't think i act different.
he's the 3rd guy to say this to me.
i'm not sure if thats good or bad.
anyway.

there was a lot of grinding. not even dancing, just. grinding.
i'm not going to say what i did, or who i did it with.
but if you're smart and can use your brain, you can try and guess.
but it probably won't be right. since there was about 50 people, and you don't know who they are because i didn't tell you. and i only told one person, and will only tell 2 people.
other than who was there.
all i can say is that i didn't expect myself to do what i did, i guess. but i did.
i'm not that innocent, geeesh.

i got so upset though, at one point. i was just fed up. ah, i can't let this get to me, because apparently it happens a lot. A LOT.
A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT. like, in terms of other people flirting with him.
but i got my turn, and.
hahahahahahahahaha. i was pretty damn happy about that.
it's just that. i have to understand i guess.
i mean, its not like it doesn't happen to me.
there's always someone with me, whether i want it or not. whether we're flirting or not, or doing whatever the hell we're doing.
i just don't like how he thinks he can play it off, and make it so stupid and obvious.
it kills me.
because i genuinely like him. how can you. be so. apathetic.
that kills me so much, boy.

anyway, i'm not sure what else to say.
it was ok, not the best, but ok.
today i'm going to give him one last chance as we're going to see across the universe all the way in the city. let's see.
wish me luck, i suppose.
but then again.
i'm the luckiest person i've come to know.