my carbonated drink is fiz-fiz-fizzing away, and my baked goods are cooling.
all the while, i'm here.
i've got so much running through my head its uncalled for, and its quite ridiculous, but i do understand that it's part of my complex, and makes me. well-me.

yesterday when i walked to the bus stop i found a clod of ice/dirt/snow and i kicked it with every step i took. and with every kick i let out a secret that i know i will only ever tell myself.
boy, it felt fucking good.

i adore this.

for christmas this year i'm not asking for anything at all.
i want to see if people who claim they "know" me really do "know" me. so we'll see.
although,
a new tote bag is calling for me and some kicks.
but that's about it.

i'm never sure of anything, or rather anyone anymore.
i'm too fucking clingy and i always need goddamn reassurance.
i'm pretty sure i'd be better as some microorganism feeding off the algae or nutrients in a pond rather than the love and feeling of those around me.