way back into love.

i'm ok. i've had hundreds of better days than today, and maybe the ones i've been having, but they're always outweighed by just one day, or not even, just a couple of hours.
its funny and quirky to me how such a short amount of a couple of splendid and candid hours with lovely people can make everything disappear, and make the whole world seem better.
it amazes me each and every time.
its like quantum physics and things about the universe, and all that other science mumbojumbo (which i do very much like) but this is better.
so much more.

ok. um! happy birthday trisha (:
party on saturday. the usual.
besides the epic frosting fight. oh man! that was nice, too.
i had frosting allover myself, and so did everyone else, but it was fun fun fun.
i played guitar hero. for like, a half hour. i'm damn addicted, i want to go buy it.
i can't remember much of anything, but there was a lot of laughing and all the other stuff that we usually do.
what fun (:

halloween was yesterday!
the day was good, too.
went to school, but it was only a half day. i have to admit, halloween this year was so damn funny.
there were 4? emo kids in my class, and even better it was zack, brian, steven and travis.
travis had on. omg, the skinniest jeans ever. hahahaha.
which reminds me! i went to target with him and danielle.
its only a 5 minute walk, if you keep at a good pace, and target is big as hell. anyway, he tried on jeans, a size 9 and 10.
LOL
my god, he cried and fell and we laughed. hahahaha. me and danielle even got kicked out for laughing so hard!
anyway.
they had on the thickest eyeliner, skinniest jeans and tightest shirts. it was funny as hell.
as for me and danielle, we were cats. with whiskers :D.
and i got to wear a CAPE.
WORD.
anyway was a regular day, the costume contest wasn't much besides some costumes.
went home! and everyone ate a lot, and they jammed and we chilled outside some.
then we went trick or treating and blah de blah.
i have such a bad memory. ahhh
katie danielle andrea and a whole bunch of other people got wasted @ andrea's house. they invited me, so maybe i'll go next week. hahaha. me wasted. imagine.

today at school all i wanted to do was sleep. i was so tired.
it was so boring too, it was hard not to. eh.

i can't help but feel overwhelmed by apathy, melancholy and guilt.
i don't know why, but all of those emotions seem to flood me and overwhelm me, while correlating to eachother and only influencing eachother more.
but!
i do have to say,
what you did the yesterday! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh killed me (:
i really hope you mean all the things you say in the context that i'm wishing for.
i just don't want the feelings i've been holding onto for however long this has been to just.
not mean anything.
its so cheesy, but these are the feelings i'm ever so guaranteed of, ever so sure of. i can't deny their presence, or truth.
the ever so effortless beauty, underlying in them.
you are so beautiful, you know. i stare at your face sometimes, because its all i can. my loss of words. the actions you do, words you say.
the way you inspire me is tremendous and ridiculous.
ah, i can't imagine anything without you now.
please please please.
say it.