me and you gun get rightttt

today, when lionel got on the bus, he took the seat across from me, and well, very politely asked,
'so sarah, how's the chemo?'
i must admit, his little spews and rumors are actually pretty intriguing. especially since he makes fun of something pretty boring and important to me (haha, boring to me, but yet important) as in being sick.
he tells people i have cancer.
and lol, because today castanon believed him hahahaha
she totally flipped the fuck out
well, anyway, i uh have:
brain cancer
breast cancer (not to mention my uh, one breast is like, a D and my other is an A, according to him. and well, travis got in this, too, haha)
and theres an inoperable tumor somewhere inside of me
i've had a shitload of chemo
AND
i'm knocked up with triplets
lol
lionel's definitely growing on me like some inoperable tumor, i must admit. he's very comforting in this. odd, peculiar way.

my days have been fine. i'm okay.

travis still teases me about you, i want you to know.
i also want you to know that i don't mind one bit.
that's how much i miss you.

you, on the other hand.
i can't help but sit around, or walk around, or stand around and think about how much of a douche you really fucking are.
you completely led me on, and you are a real jerk to me.
in fact, i'm wondering why i even liked you at all...
or even felt attracted, for that matter.
i'm not just saying this because today was a bad day with you, but because EVERYDAY seems to be a little worse when it involves you, and you complicate everything too much for me, and you make me feel completely horrible.
i'm thinking one of my worst traits is wishing that everyone would be happy.
not really, but still.
i mean, if she makes you happy, or you say she does, go fucking do something about it, and stop moaning and bitching to me.
it only upsets me more.
and, what sucks more is that you even said you liked me, too.
playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyer.
player player player.

jesus fucking christ.
can't i just meet someone who doesn't upset me, isn't a player, or falls in love with some other girl we've known all along.
c'mon, please!